This can happen to anyone. Me, you, your spouse or even to your parents. Let us not dig into the deeper relationships whom you caught red-handed while they were cheating on their life partners and kids, so let it be specifically about you and me. It is quite reasonable, yet hopefully rare, that you find yourself attracted to somebody else, despite you being married for several years. Perhaps, you found him or her in your neighborhood, or in the office or your kid’s birthday party or any random place… well, do we really care about the place?
It all starts with eyes meeting, then an infectious fling leading to a long conversation. This transforms into a test flirt, and if positively reciprocated, this strangest of all relationships take a rewarding turn. Then comes the smiles, winking, nervousness, a touch of the hand and mind full of that person’s thoughts and pretty soon you are thinking about navigating some pretty serious shams. Perhaps you never thought it would go so far, or you might have planned to stop it before it reached this stage but it could never happen because of just one reason, you loved that feeling, again. Believe me, it is all biological.
I believe, some feelings are extremely light, say just like the common cold. It comes, and it goes, with or without any treatment (an external force is what I meant here). However, some feelings happen to be serious, just like a fatal disease. Not that I am referring extra-marital affair as some kind of a disease, but they take hold of all your consciousness, responsibilities at home, fidelity and your relationship with your wedded partner. And pursuing such feelings can make you hide, manipulate and lie about things to your spouse. Ironically, when you are bringing happiness to someone else’s life, you are blackening your own future with your actual partner. And the moment you realize you were wrong, what all you did will become the very things you got to despise later and distrust in other.
On the contrary, many feel that having an extramarital affair provides every happiness that is lacking in their own marriage, either mental stimulation or sex. A wife or a husband may be the real partner, but their illegal counterparts, boyfriends, and girlfriends, can become an ideal partner, a true companion, and lover. And the saying, ‘one cannot marry everyone they love’ seems to fit here entirely.
I leave it to you to decide what actually your relationship is irrational or rational, but here I suggest some of the tips helping you stay calm and think about what you want to do further with your relationships.
Though I am not mentioning it in my list of tips, I will recommend you to take your partner for blood pressure checkups, ECG and MRI. In case you decide to break the news of your new indulgence, you find the correct time to do so as your spouse must have the courage to accept it the right way.